Those who can’t do, teach. And those who can’t teach, teach gym – But I actually can do (I swear!)

I hold two bachelor degrees from a respectable Canadian University. Actually, they’re nailed to the wall in a double frame that monstrously overtakes the single framed degrees of my two brothers. Joke’s on me – they have jobs. Why would I major in Physical and Health Education? To complete two degrees in four years and pay only slightly more tuition seemed like such value, and Asian people (like myself) like value. So then why was I one of four and a half Asian kids in my graduating year? Maybe everyone else didn’t see this opportunity quite as lucratively as I did.

My other degree is in Life Science, which I’m sure doesn’t surprise you, is considered a much more respectable degree to any Asian parents with medical school aspirations for their offspring. When my parents’ friends would ask what I studied in school, I used to start with the science degree and then mumble something about health. It’s hard enough trying to describe Phys Ed in English, so try it in Cantonese. But then I realized that I actually liked my major (for reasons that will be revealed later on) so now I proudly tell people that I majored in gym.

I can’t tell you the number of times people asked if I was going to be a gym teacher. Once upon a time I wanted to be a teacher: in senior kindergarten I was so impressed by all the presents my teacher got at Christmas time. In all honestly, I applaud teachers and owe a lot to a few of them (for the knowledge imparted, not gambling debt). Fact: I could not be a teacher. I don’t think a person can hold that against me as some kind of inherent character flaw; in fact, I think it shows that I know myself well enough not apply to teacher’s college in a panic of what to do with the rest of my life just because I’m not working at present. My point is that a person shouldn’t be defined by their degree, but it seems it’s still happening to me (us) now.

I’ve been told that employers look for diverse backgrounds (and I’m not just talking ethnically!) and experiences, I don’t know if I’m buying that at this point in time. I’ve also heard that since the recession employers aren’t taking risks on potentially great employees but sticking to tried, tested and true. The way I see it, if we’re on the upswing again and digging ourselves out of this mess, isn’t it time to take a chance again?

And while I’m at it, why would educational institutions grant degrees in anything other than medicine, law and business if only to play horribly mean tricks on unsuspecting sociology majors? I Picked a Major I Like, and One Day I Will Probably Be Living In a Box is a Facebook group I once assumed was solely the creation of Art History majors (sorry) until I realized there can’t be 108,889 (as of 9.30) people stupid enough to major in Art History (again, sorry).

So yes, let’s take chances and break out of our proverbial hiring box everyone seems to live in that throws out worthwhile candidates just because my two sheets of very expensive paper say something slightly different. With that I leave you with my heartfelt letter to my all-time favourite person –

To Whom It May Concern:

Please allow me market (I told you I had skills!) myself and my degree to demonstrate how I’m the ideal candidate for the job you’ve accidentally left out “gym” as a preferred degree.

1. Audacity
I did graduate from university, so hopefully one would assume that being literate played a small part in that success. I read your job requirements and I fully understand I don’t have the communications/journalism degree you necessitate. But wait! Don’t toss me into the “incompetent” pile with such vigour. If I still took the time to apply there might just be some method to my madness. Otherwise I could have spent that time practicing free throws and really put my degree to work. And let’s reason with each other one Women’s-Studies-major-turned-Human-Resources-Associate to another gym-major-desiring-employment; we both made some educational choices in the past that don’t necessarily reflect who we are now. So, I encourage you to read my résumé and cover in its entirety to see what I have to offer. Moreover, if I show such tenacity in my application it means I’m self-confident and sure of my decisions which easily transfer to the way I conduct myself professionally.

2. Time Management
Did I already mention that I have two degrees and that I completely them simultaneously? Despite the cracks I once made about the (fictitious) dodge ball midterm being absolutely killer, class schedules were packed to the brim. In my second year I averaged about the same number of class and lab hours as an engineering student. In first year I balanced seven courses in one semester where some of those picture-perfect commerce students only took four. Fine, I’ll admit that one of those classes was a mandatory practicum class, but I’ll have you know I learned how to ballroom dance in that class. Since there were (surprisingly) significantly more females majoring in gym than males, oftentimes I had to learn to both lead and follow. Talk about a transferrable skill! I’m going to add that to my résumé right now!

3. Team Player
In addition to my aforementioned raw physical prowess which naturally all gym majors possess, I also possess the ability to work impeccably as part of a team. Team has been ingrained in me since little league hockey. Translation: you want me on your team – especially for KPMG vs. PwC innertube water polo. If you think teamwork has been singed into my brain then you better believe that competition surges through my veins. Moreover, I’ve been surrounded by motivational posters like “You always miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” my whole life, so I know how to give 100% at all times. Winning is the only option I know, and I will win for this company.

4. Cost Savings
I know, it’s a miracle you’re hiring at all, but hiring a gym major can save the company money! I sit on an inflatable stability ball (it's good for your abs) and I’m willing to bring it to work so you don’t even have to buy me a new desk chair. However, as a gym major I am a stickler for workplace ergonomics, so I might need to make a few minor changes to my cubicle. Moreover, gym majors don’t smoke, so I won’t go out for a ciggy break every hour, which maximizes my efficiently, thus saving the company money.

In conclusion, if when you hire me I’ll stop writing such long blog posts and of course you can trust me, I’m a gym major.