A little over three years ago I wrote that home is where the heart is,
and now my own heart is once again on the move. I cried when I left Toronto
then, heading into a world of what felt like the complete unknown. Fast forward two years and I cried
at Heathrow when I was flying back. Talk about a fickle heart.
Perhaps it’s because of how much time I’ve been spending at airports over the
past year, but I think I may be immune to crying in airports now.
This time leaving feels a lot more bittersweet. I am
reuniting with my fiancé after not living in the same country, continent, or hemisphere
for over 2 years. Plus, I made him fly all the way to Toronto and back again
because he has a better status level than I do and it means I can carry more
bags with me. And it really helps me feel like I am not doing this on my own. I
am not on my own when I opt to leave my very well paying job and hightail it to
a place that is not incredibly familiar and just a smidge stabbier than where I
live now. I do love a good adventure, but I love paying down my student debt
even more.
I didn’t plan to come back home so soon after graduation.
The original plan was to stay in London, but life knows better sometimes than
to let you plan. I hadn’t intended to meet my future husband, in spite of what
people say about women getting an MBA more so for getting an MRS. I wasn’t able to move to
South Africa where he had relocated after finishing his degree a year earlier than I. I made the decision (discussing with my
partner) that I’d move back to Toronto for a year, aggressively make headway on
my loan and we would reassess our situation.
I would go on to tell wannabe
consultants that I went to school abroad because I wanted to launch an
international career, and they would look at me confused as to why I was
working back in North America. And they were right. I am not ready to make one place my home just yet. I still
yearn for the adventure and the excitement of exploring new places and learning
how the rest of the world goes round. I know how lucky I am to have a partner
who I can do that with. If I don’t have one place to call home yet, I am so
glad to have one person who I do call home. One step at a time, I suppose.
Toronto and Canada are wonderful places to be from and to
be; I hope my constant wanderlust does not leave anyone thinking otherwise.
Many of my favourite humans are from here (there?) and who I am is because of
where I have come from. For my own selfish growth and next phase of life, I
want to build new perspectives and keep pushing my boundaries outside of my
comforts.
This could be a long rant about the arduous application
process and how immigration really is the plight of the rich (versus being a
refugee, let’s be clear). Really, I wanted to take some time and say thank you
to those who let me back into (or new to) your lives this past year only to
have me scamper away again, who knows how long this time.
To me, modern friendship knows no physical bounds. We are
connecting through the magic of the internet right now! I am so grateful to
those who know that out of sight sometimes does not mean out of mind. But more
importantly, physical distance does not degrade the value a person has in the
other’s heart. We all grow, and we all change, some more than others. Thank you
to those who continue to be on the ride with me and allowing me to cheer you on
from afar. True friendship is picking up right where you left off – whenever and
wherever – because these connections exceed even that of the internet.
I look at my own departure as well as the departure of
others as an opportunity. You’ll always know someone wherever you go in the
world, and that to me is exciting. The whole world is just that much smaller
when you’ve got a friend. So if you find yourself down in South Africa in the
next little while, be sure to catch me while you can.
